Dear Professor Blackstone,
My name is Wong Sui Yuan. I am a first-year undergraduate pursuing a BEng in Mechanical Engineering (MEC) under the degree program jointly offered by the Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT) and the University of Glasgow (UofG). I am writing this self-introduction email to introduce myself to you and to provide you with a better understanding of me and the goals I have in this module you have been teaching.
I graduated from Singapore Polytechnic in the year 2020 with a Diploma in Mechanical Engineering. My interest in engineering began when I enrolled in a module known as Design & Technology back in secondary school. In that class, I was taught the topic of making a simple motor-powered toy car. It was where I was exposed to a simple engineering concept of making it which brought me so much interest in how to make a better version out of it and compete with my classmates' model. This interest makes me go into a deep dive into researching and understanding how specific and unique designs and materials of car parts can potentially make it go faster than the others. That was when I decided to pursue my engineering journey and seek a lasting career related to engineering after completing my studies.
Regarding my communication strengths and weaknesses, I believe that I am good at presenting a topic that I am very familiar with to anyone but also have difficulties elaborating on it properly or professionally. To illustrate it, when I was giving a presentation about my polytechnic internship project assignment to my supervisors and lecturers, I felt confident in showcasing the work I had done. However, I often struggled with awkward presentations because of my difficulty in recalling key points and the right words. Consequently, I would resort to using Singlish language and consulting my notes to convey effective communication. What makes me unique from others is my diligence at work. I always prefer to get things done properly and thoroughly. It is so that the work process can go smoothly without encountering problems or sticky situations.
My goals for this module are to gain self-confidence and professional skills in presenting and writing formal letters as I believe that these are the important skill sets that I must have to get the dream career that I wish to pursue.
I am looking forward to learning more and improving my communication skill sets under your guidance in this module and hope to truly uphold it with confidence after the completion of this module.
Good introduction and getting straight to the point.
ReplyDeleteGreat organizating of the paragraph.
Hey Weili, thank you for your feedback!
DeleteA very well written letter in my opinion. Excellent use of PEEL and letter structure is solid but you could have put your paragraph about what makes you unique together with or above your paragraph about your strenght and weaknesses. Still nicely done.
ReplyDeleteHey Luqman, thank you for the feedback and I appreciate your suggestion. I will look into it and see how I can join the two paragraph that you mention nicely.
ReplyDeleteDear Sui Yuan,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this clear, concise and highly informative letter. I especially appreciate the sharing you’ve done in terms of how your interest in automotive design impacted your decision to become an engineer. It's always enriching for me to read students' stories about their journeys. In yours, the module Design & Technolog seems to have been a catalyst for motivation. (Of course, I wonder what role the teacher might have played in that context.)
You also detail well your comm skills and how these relate to your needs. Be assured that we will address the areas that you mention in your goals, including the aim to gain "self-confidence and professional skills in presenting and writing."
This is a well written letter wiith only a lapse or two in sentence structure and verb tense:
1. verb issues
-- that I have in this module you were teaching. > (appropriate tense?)
2. sentence structure
-- Hence, resulting in the use of Singlish and referring back to my notes to get the message through. > (fragment)
I look forward to reading nmore of your writing this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Hi Professor Blackstone. Thank you for your response and point of view on what I can really work on improve this writing. I will be updating this work soon. :)
DeleteHi Prof. The following lapses in my letter writing have been updated with some rephrasing of the sentences that you've mentioned. I hope you find this well.
DeleteThank you!
Delete